Saturday, 30 July 2011

how NOT to make breakfast by me

Put two frypans on stove on medium heat. Realize I forgot a light spray of canola oil. Pick up first frypan (without handle). Hmm warm. Spray frypans. Go to fridge for two eggs. Lovely organic eggs from sister’s chicks. Decide to make scrambled eggs for a change after contemplating an exotic tomato and herb omelette affair. Break eggs into a small bowl and take out white spermy bit with two teaspoons. This is quite difficult and can take some time.  Also, I think I’m the only person in Australia who does this. I also cut all the bloody bits from chicken breasts. Yuko. Marvel at how yellow the eggs are.  Add a bit of milk to eggs and mix. Add pepper and salt. Pour into too hot pan and curse yourself for putting the frypans on too early. Realize there is another too hot frypan on the stove. Go to fridge for a tomato. Can’t find tomato. Sure I had another one in there. Swear a bit. Finally find tomato at back of fridge behind leftover artichoke salad. I’m kidding, who has leftover artichoke salad in their fridge? Wash and cut up tomato and add to too hot pan. Burn finger on frypan. Go to freezer and get out two slices of pumpkin seed bread. Nice. Place in toaster. Turn eggs a bit and add pepper and salt to tomatoes. Turn off eggs. Put toast in again as it’s too pale. Forget toast. It’s a bit brown now but still passable. Turn tomatoes. Butter well done toast and put eggs and tomatoes on a plate. Fill jug with water and put lovely indonesian coffee in a mug. Yes, i make it in a mug.  Make coffee and add a dash of milk. Go into lounge and watch an old filmclip of toni basil singing mickey. Bop along a bit. Enjoy breakfast and leave some toast. Return to kitchen and fridge and put a dollop of lime marmalade on remaining toast. Eat. Enjoy. Drink coffee. All in all a very nice breakfast considering what a shambles it was to prepare. Return to kitchen and wash dishes. Ok, that bit I made up. A very young Bon Scott is on the teev now singing let there be rock. Time to bop.

 the lone tomato.  note to self - buy tomatoes

i didn't have this beauty for brekky.  i don't know what it is.  a sort of cauliflower/broccoli something.  looks exotic doesn't it?  

and finally a little ac/dc.  Angus should be in skool not hanging around a demolition site with those chain gang escapees.  


  1. hilarious! I hardly eat meat (former vegetarian here) and when I do, I definitely cut all those blood bits off the chicken, also anything that looks like a vein or artery or muscle or tendon!

  2. so i'm not the only one? that's good to know. less meat and more vegetables can only be a good thing. :)

  3. Me too cut all the blood bits, fat bits and ugly bits off. Dig out all the spots in eggs too. Brekky sounded and looked delicious. A hoot to read.


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